"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'" -- Stephen Wright

How to be Smarter: If you are not married yet, be sure to find someone that matches the kind of life you want to have-- because most people don't change all that much. I really like this poem on the subject. SPOTS AND STRIPES By Patti Woosley

When you marry a Tiger You gotta love stripes Cause it's his stripes you will see when you climb into bed very night No, you won't ever change 'em no matter how hard you try and your Tiger will have stripes till the day that he dies

But if you married a Leopard He will always have spots So you had just better learn to love what you've got Cause you won't ever change 'em no matter how hard you try and your Leopard will stay spotted Why would you ask why?

If you fantasize a soft kitten curling up in your lap the Porcupine you married Will never do that But if you try to change him you surely will cry So love your little Porcupine and kiss the fantasy goodbye

Stop always wanting What he ain't got and stop trying to change him into something he's not Just be sure that you love him the way that he tis Tiger, Leopard, or Porcupine He is, what he is.


How to be Prettier: The best floral watch. Just what I need to make January more lovely--and to keep up my New Year's resolution of being more on-time.

How to be (less) Awkward: I like songs that sing about sad things in an upbeat way. I recommend "Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley for break-up music with a kick.