"When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone" -- Kevin McCallister, "Home Alone" (1990)

How to be Smarter: Fun fact to chew on: "McDonald's has made more millionaires, and especially black and Hispanic millionaires, than any other economic entity ever, anywhere" (source: Washington Post).  How to be Prettier: If you eat too much for dinner, it is a salad for lunch the next day. Simplest diet plan I know; easiest to follow. 

How to be (less) Awkward: If you find a hair in your food, assume it is yours; there is also no need for the rest of the table to know about it.