"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers" -- Pablo Picasso

How to be Smarter: Most people seek privacy by going to the back of the bathroom, so there is less bacteria in the first stall. An ABC news source verified that the first bathroom stall is the cleanest. 

How to be Prettier: Dip your fork into your side of salad dressing, then put the salad piece on the fork, then eat it. You get less calories from the salad dressing and can still enjoy the taste.
How to be (less) Awkward: Smile when answering the phone. The caller can hear your voice sounding friendlier. This is especially important when it is a love interest calling.